Cooling off

According to the BBC:

"The Icelandic volcano which has been disrupting air traffic for more than a month is showing a marked drop in activity, new measurements suggest."


All good things must come to an end. According to anonymous sources, the volcano was tired of being followed around everywhere by papparazi, and the last straw was seeing her name linked to Ashton Kutchner.

Quoth the Volcano: "Nobody deserves this kind of treatment from bourgeois pigs who cannot understand art. What does anyone see in that drip?"

The Volcano has let it be known that she is moving to a commune in the South Pacific, to "reconnect with herself and think some things through", and "perhaps write a book".


She was last seen boarding a plane, wearing a fabulous purple blouse, with some lovely Vuitton luggage. It is not known if she is travelling alone.